What Is Abuse

Many are in abusive relationships and are unaware. People will tell you to leave when there is abuse, but do you know what abuse is?

The odd thing to me is that people will be in situations where they are abused, yet not want for you to be in abusive situations. This is normally not because the person is hypocritical, but because they want more for you than the expect for themselves.

Sometimes that person who is telling you not to do something is telling you because they want to spare you pain that they have endured themselves. You may wonder why you should take advice from a person who didn’t take their own advice, but the truth is sometimes being abused breaks down a persons strength. 

Physical abuse is obvious, but mental abuse isn’t as obvious. When a person is purposely making you sad, angry, saying mean things to you, or making you question their place with you that is abusive. 

Abusers will usually apologize. This can make a person think that they should stay because a person appears to be well meaning. Abusers are people too, so their lashing out could be a result of depression, low self esteem, or anything. Your partner going through something doesn’t give them the right to disrespect you. If you notice a pattern of a person disrespecting you, humiliating you, or belittling you, and then apologizing… go the other way.

I was asking a friend of mine if she had some “Dating Don’ts” and the don’ts looked more like dating hell nawls. I wanted to share them so that if anyone is dealing with these things, they can identify with them then they know its not something to fix.

If someone likes you when they meet you and you haven’t changed, there is absolutely no reason that they should be criticizing you for being the same person later on. People can elevate and change, but you can’t FORCE your partner to live in a way that is unfamiliar or uncomfortable for them.

This is a friend of mine, and her breath does not stink and she does not chew loudly. People who want to make you feel badly about yourself will do whatever they can to bring you down.

Listening to your inner spirit, keeping loved ones close, putting your well being first is important.

The moral of the story is that abuse is not ok. If you need help click here https://www.thehotline.org/


  1. MikaMajor says:

    Abuse is an interesting phenomenon because it comes in so many forms and you are right, leaving isn’t as simple as most think it is. I just pray that women with children understand that their children are watching and being traumatized. I watched my mom go through some stuff with a man and he did things to me that made me as violent as he was at 8 years old. I have PTSD because of what I endured with him but I got him in the end at 8 years old, I plotted on him and got me and my mom out of that situation

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aja says:

      I’m so sorry that happened. My mother was abused and I was glad she was able to get away. Abuse leaves scars that stay with people forever. I’m glad that you both made it out. I think your strength is so important and I’m glad you share your stories with us!♥️


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