I think that it’s absolutely amazing that Halle Bailey is going to be cast as Ariel in the upcoming Little Mermaid remake. She has a phenomenal voice and so much grace. I think it’s important that we teach our children that we can be different things, in different roles, and there is not just one narrative for what black is. We are so many things and can be anything.
Hearing all of the controversy about whether or not Halle should play Ariel got me thinking about the movie itself and the character of Ariel. I think that all women can relate to Ariel. Ariel was a mermaid who was captivated by a man based on what she saw and as a result she sold her soul to change herself. In this instance she changed her appearance.
Have you been there? I know I’ve been there!
A soul is partially defined as emotional or knowledgeable energy or force. When we compromise our energy and intensity we compromise our soul what makes us who we are.
Many women have changed their hair, religion, and overall lifestyle for their mate. This is not a guarantee that that person will stay or become who or what you want. Popular culture has sent us the message in many films, songs, and other various media that if you endure hurt and pain in a relationship, eventually he will change. What if he doesn’t change? What if he is still unhappy? When we give up so much we expect to get a lot back in return. How many times does that happen though? How many times do we give up our comfort, our beliefs, and our identity only to end up with nothing?
Giving up yourself for another person and then not getting what you want in return leaves a person feeling broken and alone. In Ariel’s case she did indeed get the guy and the story ends at happily ever after for her, but that’s not the ending of the story for everyone.
I know for myself that even when I’m dating someone there are times when I have to compromise and I wonder whether or not the compromise is too great. A lot of the time they will even ask me if I could be with someone unlike myself when i have such strong views.
I absolutely could! That person would just have to understand that it took a long time for me to become the person that I am. I love who I am and how I am and I’m not changing my core values for ANYONE. If I change it will be on my own accord.
I didn’t always think this way. I’ve had boyfriends when I was younger that I’ve made sacrifices for because I thought I needed too and it put me in a bad place everytime. The worst thing about being in that place was I felt robbed because when it was over not only did I not have them, but I didn’t have me either! The lonely feeling doesn’t come from losing the guy, but from losing yourself.
Women all over the world are getting body modifications, starving themselves, hiding their beliefs, not pursing their dreams, and are ultimately unhappy because they are not sure what is the thin line between compromise and losing your soul.
I believe that in order to make sure you haven’t crossed that line you should ask yourself if it is costing you your energy. Are you feeling you have to hide your intensity? Are you losing your identity to shape shift into what he likes?
Compromise is something that happens on both sides from both people involved. Compromise is giving and taking. Compromise is not give give give. What did Prince Eric really give? What did Prince Eric really have to modify about himself? He didn’t have to do much of anything. That’s not a compromise. What if Ariel got her legs and then when she met Prince Eric realized he was an asshole?
The moral of the story is most of us have been in Ariel’s shoes at some point. We sold our souls for a pair of legs figuratively speaking. Before you give up your gift for some legs ask your self how you would feel if the narrative were to fail and you ended up without a Prince or a soul. Are the legs worth it after that?